7 Reasons why you need to stay low-key at work ?
Office, man. Office is fun, right (sarcastic nudging). I am working at a content oriented startup for nearly two years now. There have been days when I moved mountains and there were days when I ate shit from my seniors. And my office has a kinda, sorta pretentious cool vibe so spending days here is easy.
But like every other corporate-to-be organization, the cool vibe only stays till the deadlines are nowhere to be seen and the sales team is regularly landing some new clients. As the deadlines approaches closer and the off-season hits our analytics, things start to get interesting.
The welcoming, smiling boss turns crazy, team’s synergy drops to the ground, and gmail breathes hate mail with Reminder-about-deadline Subject heads.
But even in the event of apocalypse at work, there are people who stay unaffected. People who are undeterred by the changing waves of office atmosphere. And after months of staying late at work, being the employee who delivers before deadline, I happened to cross path with a calm soul one day.
It was a off-season Monday meeting where everybody was brainstorming the page layout. Looking through the glass window, I saw someone smiling. Well I generally don’t notice these things while I’m in my zone. But there was a charm, a never-given-any-fucks calm on that face that got me. I wanted that too. I wanted to smile on a MONDAY too. I wanted that happiness, that i-don’t-give-any-fucks-anymore smile.
I wrapped up my meeting and dashed to the strange master in seeking fearlessness. After lots of request and threatening remarks of being added in the deadline mail thread, Master said only one thing-LOW-KEY. I understood what the voice meant and did not say a single word. In fact, I just smiled.
It’s been 6 months with my master teaching me amazing ways to ditch heavy work and stay low-key. And in those six months, I haven’t ever been called to team meetings, nobody gives a shit I exist and my boss has totally changed his attitude towards me, now he doesn’t even look at me. And let me tell you there is nothing as beautiful as being ignored at work.
So, now that my training is over, I am here to address lost souls with seven reasons why you should try being low-key at work and enjoy the perks that come with it.
The boss ‘specie’ can’t see calm people
I have lived as a workaholic who attended work calls at 12 in the night to being the guy who simply does not go to meetings because I am always on an important call with the client (wink).
Upon having experienced both lives, I must say- there is a mojo that comes with being low-key. I mean, there are days when boss looks through me as if I am not even standing there. The assignments get tagged to people with low proficiency than me, and the meetings involve everyone but me, and ofcourse my master.
Though there have been some cuts in my salary but who cares when I have finally understood what true happiness is.
The fatal blow of deadlines doesn’t deter the undeterred
Well, I must tell you everything for what it is, as my master did. You will not be able to dodge the ball every time. There will be days when everyone is busy, and you will have already used the client call thing thrice that week, you might get called to the meeting room.
Now, the trick in such times is that you stay attentive to everything your boss says and you use boss’ words to justify that how you cannot do the assignment perfectly and how it is for the good of the company.
He might agree with you or he might disagree, so don’t push too much effort in saying no, you might blow you cover. Take the job and kill it like fashion blogger in a battlefield.
What happens at work, stays at work
You will simply stop carrying your laptop to home. Or days that you will, you will bring it for the movies you download on torrent from OFFICE WIFI, but for that you will have to go through a rigorous training as it is the last stage of our method working.
You will have all the in world at home to bitch about your office to your roommate and your family. Use it wisely.
The weekend is always merry
Since you will have already stopped working, and you don’t even get assigned new projects, you will simply be invincibly free on weekends.
However, the salary cuts won’t allow you to go on trips but fuck that shit, who cares. You don’t need money to enjoy. Use the free time to bitch some more about your office, your colleagues and your boss. Or watch Harry Potter, i mean whatever’s your thing.
You can apply for extra leaves
Nobody even knows you exist. Some people think that have already left work. Nobody except you, your master, some 80-90 bitchy colleagues and your boss would know about you still hanging on.
So taking leaves won’t make much of the difference to your office as you are already worthless to them. Infact, you taking leave will only save the cost of coffee you drink everyday.
So go on in that filthy, extra decorated cabin of HR and sign that shit for leave next day, or maybe just mail your application to them, I mean, whatever is your thing.
Thought of exit interview won’t haunt you
By the time you think about quitting that shitty job of yours, you will have already stopped giving any fucks like me and my master before. And the thoughts and feelings reciprocate with your seniors, so you won’t have much problem getting out. In fact they will welcome that idea.
So if you find any of the reasons above fun, it is because they are. And the fun is just beginning when you enter no fux are given here zone. We are a community that welcomes all. We don’t discriminate that you get everyday for your profile, your work ethics, your attitude or your salary.
Look around, the ones you see happy, really happy, those are us, smiling with charm saying hatt chutiye in our hushed voices.